sometimes diamonds can be a mans best friend…..
Today I am feeling….wanted, needed, excited, craved and desired
Now those are very unusual feelings for me but I love when it happens! The blood courses through my veins at 1000mph. My heart dances in my chest. Anticipation and desire consume everything. I have doubt…I always have doubt but I don’t care. I’m going to savour the feeling and hope it happens more frequently because I miss it when its not there
You ever had that taste of something you can’t have enough of…? Months later your mind plays tricks on you and throws it into your taste buds. Its that taste that makes you groan and bite your bottom lip. You feel the desire for it course through your veins. You ache for it just one more time. You remember how heaven tastes and you need more. You crave more. You lick your lips as the saliva fills your mouth. Your breathing quickens. Can you taste it? Can you taste what you crave?
Come fucking get it….. *bites lip*
My feeling today is
Does anyone have that one person who is their favourite What If? You know that one person you know it would have been amazing if it had been given it a chance. Mine was three years ago. If he’d asked me to stay my life would have been so different now. Now heres the kicker – he recently contacted me and told me that not asking me to stay was the biggest mistake and only regret of his life. That is why this is todays feeling.
I met him when i was married so obviously nothing happened. When my marriage blew up we got together briefly. It was passion, lust, desire, love, falling asleep wrapped around each other, everything i could have ever wanted and what ive been looking for ever since. He was my hardest goodbye. You know the one – the tears, the hugging, the not wanting to go. He said he didnt ask me then because i had to find who i was without my now ex husband. He is now in a relationship yet called me a few nights ago to tell me the words i wanted to hear so long ago. My heart broke again because as i told him
“Baby you’ll always be my favourite What If….”
Nothing will happen though. I sit here telling myself that i have moved on. Im currently seeing someone and, as i said, he is with someone but my heart lives in hope that someday he wont be my favourite What If – he’ll be my favourite reason to wake up in the morning.