My feeling today is
Does anyone have that one person who is their favourite What If? You know that one person you know it would have been amazing if it had been given it a chance. Mine was three years ago. If he’d asked me to stay my life would have been so different now. Now heres the kicker – he recently contacted me and told me that not asking me to stay was the biggest mistake and only regret of his life. That is why this is todays feeling.
I met him when i was married so obviously nothing happened. When my marriage blew up we got together briefly. It was passion, lust, desire, love, falling asleep wrapped around each other, everything i could have ever wanted and what ive been looking for ever since. He was my hardest goodbye. You know the one – the tears, the hugging, the not wanting to go. He said he didnt ask me then because i had to find who i was without my now ex husband. He is now in a relationship yet called me a few nights ago to tell me the words i wanted to hear so long ago. My heart broke again because as i told him
“Baby you’ll always be my favourite What If….”
Nothing will happen though. I sit here telling myself that i have moved on. Im currently seeing someone and, as i said, he is with someone but my heart lives in hope that someday he wont be my favourite What If – he’ll be my favourite reason to wake up in the morning.